I feel regretful to the point of tears over my actions throughout the first year of our marriage. Though I maintain I could successfully escort as a married woman, I do feel the repercussions now. The build-up of lies, deceipt and sleeping with strange men for money while also pretending to be a good wife is beginning to take it’s toll. Even though we are separated I feel worse now when I see a client than I did a year ago. My biggest regret is the affair I had with Diver. I not only feel bad for my husband and my marriage, but for Diver’s wife and children. We’d discussed it before, how he was devoting his affection toward me and not her, even though she would not accept it. In my mind it was his decision and if it wasn’t me it would have been somebody else. I checked out of my relationship as well and gave all I had to give to a man I could never have while I should have been putting effort elsewhere, at least trying to make it work. Instead, I am leaving a marriage I feel pretty sure should have never exhisted but in the back of my mind, I know I never tried.
Read this next