i rank number one!

in response to david ng’s idea, explained here:

I’d like to suggest a meme, where the premise is that you will attempt to find 5 statements, which if you were to type into google (preferably google.com, but we’ll take the other country specific ones if need be), you’ll find that you are returned with your blog as the number one hit.

1. ugliest animal ever
2. “amount of caffeine in starbucks coffee”
3. “magickal dragon on a leash”
4. “gruber on hotel chevelier.”
5. “is it ever okay to shit blood?”