poem: "to go, please"



lactose-intolerant debutante

seeks hyper-active tv announcer

from cheezey 50’s game


please call me up

i swear i’m smart

but don’t give me


or else i’ll fart

i’m lonely, everybody

and my white cell count is down

i need some human contact please

a man

a woman


i promise not to hit you

but i can’t promise not to swear

i must sub-let my trailer’s fleas,

i’ll trade it for some

pork and beans

if i don’t get some protein soon

i’ll have to hit the fair

with biker-chics in halter-tops

and three kinds of yeast and

malted hops

and studded-leather chokers that accentuate thier


and yuppie moms with double-strollers

gaudy rings (thier

status holders)

who need to hurry up “lets go!”

and get

home in time for ricki!

the toothless tilt-a-whirl operator

who needs to shave her


has caught my eye and turned to face me

she’s going to walk this way!!!

she grabs my thigh and starts to squeeze rub me…

says that

she will always love me…

her voice sounds like don pardo and i

think i am in love

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