Room for Rent — Inauguration Day/ObamaCon 2009
Date: 2008-11-11, 11:45AM EST
In a search of a room in DC so that you can spend Jan. 20 standing in the bitter winter cold with thousands of like-minded souls watching the historic transfer of power from one Harvard grad to another? Look no further.
Me: Heartless, greedy right-wing oppressive type looking to make a buck.
You: Obama’s election was Christmas/your first kiss/May Day all wrapped into one. You dutifully wore his button — which you have yet to remove — contributed money to his campaign from your non-profit job and chanted “yes we can” as if it were the 11th commandment. A strange void now exists in your life and — like an old hippie looking to recapture the spirit of Woodstock — you are undertaking a pilgramage to Washington for one last gulp of the Kool-Aid.
Along with my bedroom you will have access to the house’s many amenities including cable television (not that you watch much TV) for viewing Keith Olberman’s latest unhinged rants and CNN in high-def. Wireless internet means that the Huffington Post and DailyKos are only a click away on your MacBook. American flags and other patriotic paraphernalia in the room can be removed upon request.
The house is located in the diverse neighborhood of Adams Morgan with people of many different skin pigmentations that will allow you to revel in your tolerance. Rest assured, however, that this diversity does not extend to ideology and that you are sure to march lock-step with the prevailing sentiment ensuring that your most strongly held beliefs remain unchallenged.
Easily accessible subway and bus stops will help ensure a minimal carbon footprint while fair trade coffee is never more than a few steps away at any number of independently-owned establishments. Nearby non-chain bookstores similarly mean that tomes such as Mao’s Little Red Book, Chomsky’s latest masterpiece or additional copies of The Audacity of Hope can be easily purchased either for yourself or as early holiday shopping.
Rather than state a price I am requesting that you bid on this fabulous opportunity to ensure profit maximization on my part so that I can better weather the Bush Recession.