Tag Archives: Humor

omnivore wins the comments

the internet will make available long-obsolete media, produced incidentally, and not for its long-term value, for others to draw ironic conclusions about, allowing the blindness, limitations and stupidity of all previous generations to be demonstrated, while offering opportunities for self-regarding individuals in the present to create self-congratulatory comparisons with their own incisive, far seeing 20-20 hindsight.

—-

unfortunately for the self-regarding individuals (aka ‘bloggers’), the above will continue to be true.

Future of News video from 1981: epitome of dumb futurism – Boing Boing

A Cybersex Encounter

Online computer users often engage in what is affectionately known as “cybersex.” Often the fantasies typed into keyboards and shared through Internet phone lines get pretty raunchy. However, as you’ll see below, one of the two cyber-surfers in the following transcript of an online chat doesn’t seem to quite get the point of cybersex.

Then again, maybe he does…

A Cybersex Encounter

Shinyness to Usefulness to Awesomeness

i just remembered my “shinyness to usefulness to awesomeness” chart, and i thought i’d re-post it.

i like it, still:

Shinyness to Usefulness to Awesomeness
view full size at flickr

best of craigslist : Room for Rent — Inauguration Day/ObamaCon 2009

heh:

Room for Rent — Inauguration Day/ObamaCon 2009

Date: 2008-11-11, 11:45AM EST

In a search of a room in DC so that you can spend Jan. 20 standing in the bitter winter cold with thousands of like-minded souls watching the historic transfer of power from one Harvard grad to another? Look no further.

Me: Heartless, greedy right-wing oppressive type looking to make a buck.

You: Obama’s election was Christmas/your first kiss/May Day all wrapped into one. You dutifully wore his button — which you have yet to remove — contributed money to his campaign from your non-profit job and chanted “yes we can” as if it were the 11th commandment. A strange void now exists in your life and — like an old hippie looking to recapture the spirit of Woodstock — you are undertaking a pilgramage to Washington for one last gulp of the Kool-Aid.

Along with my bedroom you will have access to the house’s many amenities including cable television (not that you watch much TV) for viewing Keith Olberman’s latest unhinged rants and CNN in high-def. Wireless internet means that the Huffington Post and DailyKos are only a click away on your MacBook. American flags and other patriotic paraphernalia in the room can be removed upon request.

The house is located in the diverse neighborhood of Adams Morgan with people of many different skin pigmentations that will allow you to revel in your tolerance. Rest assured, however, that this diversity does not extend to ideology and that you are sure to march lock-step with the prevailing sentiment ensuring that your most strongly held beliefs remain unchallenged.

Easily accessible subway and bus stops will help ensure a minimal carbon footprint while fair trade coffee is never more than a few steps away at any number of independently-owned establishments. Nearby non-chain bookstores similarly mean that tomes such as Mao’s Little Red Book, Chomsky’s latest masterpiece or additional copies of The Audacity of Hope can be easily purchased either for yourself or as early holiday shopping.

Rather than state a price I am requesting that you bid on this fabulous opportunity to ensure profit maximization on my part so that I can better weather the Bush Recession.

best of craigslist : Room for Rent — Inauguration Day/ObamaCon 2009

Jon Stewart, Lost in D.C., Collects USO Award : NPR

this is funny, listen to it, it is only four minutes long:

Day to Day, March 25, 2008 · Jon Stewart: Daily Show host, Oscar host, Emmy winner — and now the winner of a Merit Award from the United Service Organization of Metropolitan Washington. That’s a branch of the USO, the private group that sends celebrities like Robin Williams and Kid Rock to entertain U.S. troops in war zones.

Stewart has never been to Iraq, but he has met with wounded troops at Walter Reed Army Medical Center and Bethesda Naval Hospital. He tells NPR’s Madeleine Brand that he’s not really sure why he received the award.

‘It could be like I was the seventh caller,’ he says. ‘I don’t really know how they picked it.’

But he drove down from New York to accept it — and got lost somewhere in the thicket of downtown Washington, D.C. His parting words to NPR? ‘Where’s Pennsylvania Avenue? I’m lost! This city is not designed properly!’

Jon Stewart, Lost in D.C., Collects USO Award : NPR

After Reading Some of My Journal Entries, It’s Clear That I Need to Stop Watching Porn.

Cops showed up at my house after nosy neighbors complained about the large piles of citrus-smelling, glued-together squid all over my front lawn. “Where are the female officers? I want to be frisked by female officers!” I yelled as I was hauled away for no reason.

McSweeney’s Internet Tendency: After Reading Some of My Journal Entries, It’s Clear That I Need to Stop Watching Porn

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