Flickerbulb

Chris Corwin is a UX engineer at @salesforce who digs bourbon, beer, bikes, and beef. And pork. Aaand chicken. And asparagus. Food, really.

shoveling

alright
alright
alright
already

alright
i get the point already

you needn’t rub it in again
you needn’t make a show

okay
okay
okay
i get it

i understand
i comprehend it

i didn’t till just now
but now
i know just what is wrong

i know
i know
i know
i broke it

i know more empty words don’t help it
and speaking’s only likely to exacerbate the mess

but if it helps
or if it may
or if i can
i’d like to say
you must know and please
here
do believe me
when i say i try

its like my brain conspires against me
hates me
tricks me
never lets me

just do what i need to do
or tells me what that is

and so
and so
and so
and so

and on
and on
and on

i go

and steadily i dig the hole

that drives you from my side

unfocused

the last thing you want
when you are enjoying being miserable
is to be ripped out of yourself and made
to think about the needs of another

the greatest of these

the boys and the girls
don’t speak the same language
they talk to each other
but they never hear

the girl will say one thing
the boy will hear other
the boy will say some thing
it will miss the girl’s ear

the girls and the boys
don’t share a vocab
they both know they’re right
and each other’s wrong

the boy says the wrong word
to convey the right feeling
the girl hears the right word
but the meaning is gone

the boys and the girls
both know something is missing
so they keep trying harder
to make themselves known

but the girls and the boys
will continue to blow it
as love can’t spoken
it has to be shown

whatever you do

it is not fair
says her, to i
that i should live
and her should die
that we should be so rich and fat
and they should scrounge around for scraps

that us should win
and others lose
when we determine
just who can’t choose

it is not right
to her, says i
but deep inside i know i lie
i mean
i hear
i think
i care
but really i just can’t be there

i want to feel
for her plight

i want to want to want what’s right

but wanting right just costs so much

my value’s placed in things i trust

like comfort, money, freedom, peace:

i’ll please myself and fuck the least

avoidance theory

i gotta find a way
to make sure i don’t feel no more

and i gotta find a way
to make sure i won’t bleed no more

i gotta find a sure fire way
to make sure i can’t cry again

i gotta find a brand new way
to long for song for never more

i just gotta find a way
to rid myself of all desire

and i just gotta find a way
to never set my heart afire

and i just have to find a way
to sit here quietly and wait

i simply just must find some way
for all my feelings to abate

reflecting

the mirror only speaks lies
even that which it shows which is close to the truth
is exactly backwards from real

a mirror can’t show you what you are really looking for
when you go to look at yourself

it can’t show you how others see you
it can’t show you what others view
it can’t tell you whether you’re being offensive
it can’t warn you not to be you

the mirror only speaks what it sees
and you don’t even see what it speaks
you ignore what it is you aren’t looking for
you deny what cannot be hidden from view

the mirror does not show the worth of a man
the mirror does not show the soul of a man
the mirror does not show the strength within
the mirror does not show the truth in a man

mysterious powers

i hate the hold you have on me
i hate how you can make me sad
i hate that you can bend my will
i hate how you can make me mad

i hate that all you have to do is never come again
i hate that all you have to do is never show your face

i hate that all you have to do is never poke your head inside
i hate that all you have to do is never share this space

i wish you could forgive yourself
i wish you would have tried
i wish you hadn’t given up
i wish you had not died

more than we can ask or imagine

one thing we can’t do
about the goodness of god:
overestimate

fortyniner

i found riches in that river
plunged my hands in
pulled out gold
sifted rocks and dust and sand
and found a perfect heart to hold

Before you go